Menopause and Peri-Menopause-Navigating the Emotional Journey of Change

Menopause and Peri-Menopause-Navigating the Emotional Journey of Change

When we hear the words perimenopause and menopause, conversations often focus on physical symptoms such as hot flushes, sleep disturbances and changes in menstrual cycles.   It can also affect sex lives meaning that being intimate is not the same as before.  Noticing differences in your body and anticipating your partner notices these too.

Not every culture perceives this change in life in the same way as your own culture.  In my family, it was not an open subject and talked about in hushed tones or referred to as ‘the change’.   I have no knowledge of how my Mum or Grandmothers were affected by menopause so have no comparisons to make with my family history.

There is a flood of information and advice on HRT which can feel like a promise to solve all the symptoms and cause us to question which way do you turn?  For some women, HRT is not an option they can explore so what then? Which information do you trust?  There is another side of menopause that deserves equal attention: the emotional impact.

For many women, perimenopause and menopause are not simply biological transitions.  They can be profound periods of adjustment, realisation of a different reality, time to consider what you really want out of life, loss of ‘old self’, a period of growth and transformation.  The emotional changes experienced during this stage of life are real, valid, and often overlooked.

Understanding the Emotional Impact

Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause can influence mood and emotional wellbeing. Some women find themselves feeling more anxious, like a low level hum in the background which can fluctuate without rhyme or reason.   Anxiety can cause hesitation where we find it too difficult to ‘make the right choices’ so it sometimes feels safer to do nothing at all.

Tears or anger can come out of nowhere and you might find yourself looking for reasons to explain why your mood has changed so rapidly.  Some women might feel a drop in confidence.  For instance, not feeling as capable in your job or not able to advocate for yourself, meaning you no longer recognise yourself.  It could mean aesthetically you are surprised by what you see in the mirror but also feeling lost and unsure who you are inside.  If someone were to ask you to describe yourself, you might not know how to start.

These feelings can be confusing and unsettling, particularly when they appear without warning or seem disproportionate to a situation.

Many women describe feeling as though they are "losing control" of their emotions which is true.  Hormonal changes are out of our control.  We do not receive a memo first thing in the morning informing us which hormones will drop or spike and what time so we can at least be prepared. When this happens, it's a combination of navigating complex hormonal changes, life transitions, and accumulated stress.  It can feel like you’ve been through a tumble dryer, turning inside out and upside down AND you are expected to carry on as normal.

More Than Hormones

While hormones play a significant role, menopause often coincides with other major life events.

At this stage of life, many women may be:-

• Caring for ageing parents

• Supporting teenage or adult children

• Accepting there may not be any chance to have children

• Managing demanding careers

• Navigating relationship changes

• Experiencing bereavement or loss

• Questioning identity and purpose

• Facing an "empty nest"

When multiple pressures occur alongside hormonal changes, emotional resilience can feel stretched to its limits.

It is therefore important to recognise that emotional difficulties during menopause are not simply a result of hormones.  They often reflect the many changes and challenges occurring at the same time.

The Importance of Emotional Support

One of the most challenging aspects of menopause can be feeling alone.  We might feel muddled and none of it is makes any sense so it's best to keep yourself to yourself. This only exacerbates loneliness.

Despite menopause affecting every woman differently, many people still feel reluctant to discuss their experiences openly.  This can lead to feelings of isolation and self-doubt.

Emotional support can make a significant difference.

Having a safe space to talk about fears, frustrations, and changing emotions without judgement can help women feel understood and less alone.